By: Reason iNk & Mason
Talking to myself,
On a constant basis.
Judging what I do,
On my own accord.
I live and I love,
But my mind is nowhere near,
As I lose myself inside my own fears.
I’m so lost that I can’t even imagine pain.
Now searching for a reason,
In the refuse of my minds domain.
As I forget my identity, destroyed by lies,
Now my life,
Plummeting to its own demise.
Falling deeper and deeper.
Into my thoughts,
That opening my eyes
I don't recognize my reality.
Nothing familiar, but yet everything
Is still the same.
With closed eyes
I reach the bottom
Of my sad thoughts.
I feel my emotions
Rising through my body
Beginning to choke my heart
And squeeze my lungs from breathing.
As my eyes open,
Tears escape to roll quickly
Down to my neck
To be lost in my clothes.
I am angry I cannot control
My feelings, but my thoughts,
It wouldn't stop
Till’ it is expressed.
In a way where,
Not many notice the pain,
From deep within the established shell.
This prison to hold inside,
The feelings I hold so deeply,
As I secretly lay forth for all to see,
My life.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Fighting 4 Love
By: GadgetGirl & Reason
I'm here and your there
as i stare at your picture
trying to come up with the reasons
to stay with you.
So many days we'd talk on the phone
but my bed is empty
and I'm tired of beingleft alone.
Simple talk is cheap and i'm sorry but I can'tstay meek
I dont need a relationship where all we do is speak
I know we're probably at our peak
I miss you too but please bare with me
I dont want to lose you, Understand how i feel
We're in this together, we're in too deep
Understand, your love is all i wanna keep
Day and night all i do is weep.
My friends swear that sunshine will come
after all the rain, but the forcast
still calls for pain
Seems like things will never change
The drops i feel, reminiscing the days
We used to walk together, holding hands in the rain
We can make it despite distance, we've survived through worse
Listen to our hearts speak our love
Look through my words, look inside my heart
I need you and you need me
Loves a 2-way street,
Just stay with me
Believe me when i say my thoughts
aren't easy
Thinking about throwing away a love
we have doesn't please me
I appreciate the time we share
You know I'll always care and want to
be there with you
There's alot of things we've both been through
And that helped us be who we are today
The solution is far from just throwing our love away
We can work things out, Girl it just takes time
The effort we gave, this isnt a game, this is our lives
And I want us to share a good life
keep it in mind, we only live once and thats it
Let me be the one you live it with
I realize that what we have is a gift
Our love is a true blessing; like a treasure
I don't want to part with it,
but my heart is having problems seeing a
way for things to change,
to rearrange the clutter so there's a clear path towards
each other
I know we had our shares of mistakes, nobody's perfect
Why cant you understand all we can do is learn from it
There's no such thing as impossible especially on love
We love each other right? So we're done just because?
No If's, and's, or but's? Thats just all there was for us?
No baby, I would never trivialize our love
The mere thought of our demise tears me
apart
I'm not trying to disguise my heart or my
feelings
I'm reeling from so many jumbled emotions
I'm left weary, my eyes so bleary from tears that I can't think clearly
So stay by my side, let me dry those eyes
Help you to think straight and answer all your "Why's?"
I have an idea how about we keep going how we are now
Only time will tell what our love is really about
All i want is the best for you, and i mean that, really
Just to make you happy, I Love You, Sincerely
With my tears gone you have shown me
how much we both have grown
I can see us moving in the same direction
My hands firmly grasping yours I feel safe
with that confession
What would I do without your strength andforsight
So mired in darkness I couldn't see the
light
A love like ours is so worth the fight
Worth the time and effort that we spent
Partners to the end, my soulmate, my lover and my friend
I'm here and your there
as i stare at your picture
trying to come up with the reasons
to stay with you.
So many days we'd talk on the phone
but my bed is empty
and I'm tired of beingleft alone.
Simple talk is cheap and i'm sorry but I can'tstay meek
I dont need a relationship where all we do is speak
I know we're probably at our peak
I miss you too but please bare with me
I dont want to lose you, Understand how i feel
We're in this together, we're in too deep
Understand, your love is all i wanna keep
Day and night all i do is weep.
My friends swear that sunshine will come
after all the rain, but the forcast
still calls for pain
Seems like things will never change
The drops i feel, reminiscing the days
We used to walk together, holding hands in the rain
We can make it despite distance, we've survived through worse
Listen to our hearts speak our love
Look through my words, look inside my heart
I need you and you need me
Loves a 2-way street,
Just stay with me
Believe me when i say my thoughts
aren't easy
Thinking about throwing away a love
we have doesn't please me
I appreciate the time we share
You know I'll always care and want to
be there with you
There's alot of things we've both been through
And that helped us be who we are today
The solution is far from just throwing our love away
We can work things out, Girl it just takes time
The effort we gave, this isnt a game, this is our lives
And I want us to share a good life
keep it in mind, we only live once and thats it
Let me be the one you live it with
I realize that what we have is a gift
Our love is a true blessing; like a treasure
I don't want to part with it,
but my heart is having problems seeing a
way for things to change,
to rearrange the clutter so there's a clear path towards
each other
I know we had our shares of mistakes, nobody's perfect
Why cant you understand all we can do is learn from it
There's no such thing as impossible especially on love
We love each other right? So we're done just because?
No If's, and's, or but's? Thats just all there was for us?
No baby, I would never trivialize our love
The mere thought of our demise tears me
apart
I'm not trying to disguise my heart or my
feelings
I'm reeling from so many jumbled emotions
I'm left weary, my eyes so bleary from tears that I can't think clearly
So stay by my side, let me dry those eyes
Help you to think straight and answer all your "Why's?"
I have an idea how about we keep going how we are now
Only time will tell what our love is really about
All i want is the best for you, and i mean that, really
Just to make you happy, I Love You, Sincerely
With my tears gone you have shown me
how much we both have grown
I can see us moving in the same direction
My hands firmly grasping yours I feel safe
with that confession
What would I do without your strength andforsight
So mired in darkness I couldn't see the
light
A love like ours is so worth the fight
Worth the time and effort that we spent
Partners to the end, my soulmate, my lover and my friend
Inner Salvation
By: ™Mason™ & Reason
I have to learn to subdue my passions,
Unbridled lust,
Raging testosterone,
This manly urge to release myself.
The vicious yearning
For satisfaction overwhelming my intelligence,
Turning me from gentle giant to rampaging behemoth,
An un-evolved entity of which no man has relation to.
At times, these emotions eat away at my very existence,
Corroding my flesh, dissolving my intellect,
Turning what’s best about me into what’s worst.
Life's pleasures slowly tempting my consciousness,
Defying sanity,
Changing my reality into a cesspool of vile nothingness
And at times I reminisce,
The worst of what happened because of the devil that exists.
My rambunctious nature that haunts me to this day,
My future depending on the actions I make.
My life depending on whether I can learn restraint,
Even if its not living like a saint,
Even if it’s just to make this angry soul quiet,
A mind that holds on to the pain inside,
While I fight to my death instead of cry.
Cry for myself,
And what I have become in the end.
Is it possible to change this beast inside me?
Coexist with my alter ego quietly?
Live my life before the transition of my nothingness occurs,
And try to reach my own salvation before death comes first.
I have to learn to subdue my passions,
Unbridled lust,
Raging testosterone,
This manly urge to release myself.
The vicious yearning
For satisfaction overwhelming my intelligence,
Turning me from gentle giant to rampaging behemoth,
An un-evolved entity of which no man has relation to.
At times, these emotions eat away at my very existence,
Corroding my flesh, dissolving my intellect,
Turning what’s best about me into what’s worst.
Life's pleasures slowly tempting my consciousness,
Defying sanity,
Changing my reality into a cesspool of vile nothingness
And at times I reminisce,
The worst of what happened because of the devil that exists.
My rambunctious nature that haunts me to this day,
My future depending on the actions I make.
My life depending on whether I can learn restraint,
Even if its not living like a saint,
Even if it’s just to make this angry soul quiet,
A mind that holds on to the pain inside,
While I fight to my death instead of cry.
Cry for myself,
And what I have become in the end.
Is it possible to change this beast inside me?
Coexist with my alter ego quietly?
Live my life before the transition of my nothingness occurs,
And try to reach my own salvation before death comes first.
Suicidal Renditions
By: Reason & Simply Jay
Suicidal renditions of past times he once knew to be
While those same memories bring him back to reality
Escaping the realism of life trying to conceal the fear
Consuming pollutionIn his mind he begins to think,
curious of the future and how it may appear
Staring in the eyes of death as it nears.
As he conceals his emotions to ease his own pain
With a heart with no feelings being all that remains
Inside this young boy stripped of his own pride
Stripped of his own will, stripped of his own life
Victimized, a soul of blank ambition.
A voice with no sound, silently aroused.
Searching for meaning into the minds optic
Erasing the sense of humanitarian behavior.
Released his spirit, letting the blade become his savior.
Slowly but surely the blade glides through its destination
The fluid that once kept him living now escaping
He was so meek, yet his actions like a savage
Only God knows how for this long he managed
As visions of the past seem to collide with the present
The scars on his arms screaming his anguish
Hoping that in suicide, the pain will be vanquished
A single tear rolls down his eye.
Amazed at the instinct of pain; he cries.
Kin to death he contemplates his demise.
Contemplating his life, his soul drifting away
Visions becoming blurred, thoughts beginning to decay
Sickened by his own actions as his own mind he befriends
Just sitting there in the laps of death waiting for his own end
Depended on depression to guide him through his own adversity.
Staring blank as he encounters his keeper.
Faced with a decision he performs one last surgery
Slices his own throat to experience even deeper.
Now leaving the realms of Life as he
Crosses paths with the reaper.
Suicidal renditions of past times he knows to be
The same memories now bringing him back to Reality
Suicidal renditions of past times he once knew to be
While those same memories bring him back to reality
Escaping the realism of life trying to conceal the fear
Consuming pollutionIn his mind he begins to think,
curious of the future and how it may appear
Staring in the eyes of death as it nears.
As he conceals his emotions to ease his own pain
With a heart with no feelings being all that remains
Inside this young boy stripped of his own pride
Stripped of his own will, stripped of his own life
Victimized, a soul of blank ambition.
A voice with no sound, silently aroused.
Searching for meaning into the minds optic
Erasing the sense of humanitarian behavior.
Released his spirit, letting the blade become his savior.
Slowly but surely the blade glides through its destination
The fluid that once kept him living now escaping
He was so meek, yet his actions like a savage
Only God knows how for this long he managed
As visions of the past seem to collide with the present
The scars on his arms screaming his anguish
Hoping that in suicide, the pain will be vanquished
A single tear rolls down his eye.
Amazed at the instinct of pain; he cries.
Kin to death he contemplates his demise.
Contemplating his life, his soul drifting away
Visions becoming blurred, thoughts beginning to decay
Sickened by his own actions as his own mind he befriends
Just sitting there in the laps of death waiting for his own end
Depended on depression to guide him through his own adversity.
Staring blank as he encounters his keeper.
Faced with a decision he performs one last surgery
Slices his own throat to experience even deeper.
Now leaving the realms of Life as he
Crosses paths with the reaper.
Suicidal renditions of past times he knows to be
The same memories now bringing him back to Reality
Contradicting Views
By: BlackX & Reason
Contradicting views
Different ways we go, but I’ll get to you
Different visions in mind, but this is all for you
My hearts replenished pain that I never knew
I could hold for someone just like you
The pain and the glory the time that we knew
Can't you see the bigger picture, I’m not over you
So like I said, I am coming back for you
Hop in, sit back and lets cruise I’ll rescue you
Two people going on there ways
Missing everything, wishing they had there way
To be with that one person
Feelings so immersed in pain
This is why I am hurting
No touch, no love and no hugs
Just the soft feeling of your skin gave me love
When looking in your eyes
The soft white complexion mixed with my caramel eyes
Blessed with even just your presence
My love is endless
Like a movie filled with suspense
No fillers of any kind, your love gives me sense
But our contradictory nature leaves us apart
I loved you yet you contradicted my heart
You yearned for another man and gave up on me
This, the cause for me to always act rambunctiously
And the reason our friendship fell, tumultuously
Two youths misguided by the way they think
Two fucked up lives connected by one link
The fact that they’re both screwed up and under a lot of shit
But seem to never go to the other, both ashamed to admit
The perfection the two formed, a puzzle perfectly fit
But ignore their love for each other like little kids
Contrary to their beliefs, together they know they want to be
But too far they’ve gone, so they continue to live their lives separately
Continue to try to forget their love ignorantly
And keep moving apart thinking contradictory.
Some think love isn't a one-time deal
It comes and it goes, but another will reveal
What happens if that one never shows?
Now living life with questions as it goes
What happens if loves presence comes true?
But contradiction occurs and then love leaves you
What then of the way you think
After love leaves in one simple blink
What then if you lost everything you knew
What then of your, contradicting views..
Contradicting views
Different ways we go, but I’ll get to you
Different visions in mind, but this is all for you
My hearts replenished pain that I never knew
I could hold for someone just like you
The pain and the glory the time that we knew
Can't you see the bigger picture, I’m not over you
So like I said, I am coming back for you
Hop in, sit back and lets cruise I’ll rescue you
Two people going on there ways
Missing everything, wishing they had there way
To be with that one person
Feelings so immersed in pain
This is why I am hurting
No touch, no love and no hugs
Just the soft feeling of your skin gave me love
When looking in your eyes
The soft white complexion mixed with my caramel eyes
Blessed with even just your presence
My love is endless
Like a movie filled with suspense
No fillers of any kind, your love gives me sense
But our contradictory nature leaves us apart
I loved you yet you contradicted my heart
You yearned for another man and gave up on me
This, the cause for me to always act rambunctiously
And the reason our friendship fell, tumultuously
Two youths misguided by the way they think
Two fucked up lives connected by one link
The fact that they’re both screwed up and under a lot of shit
But seem to never go to the other, both ashamed to admit
The perfection the two formed, a puzzle perfectly fit
But ignore their love for each other like little kids
Contrary to their beliefs, together they know they want to be
But too far they’ve gone, so they continue to live their lives separately
Continue to try to forget their love ignorantly
And keep moving apart thinking contradictory.
Some think love isn't a one-time deal
It comes and it goes, but another will reveal
What happens if that one never shows?
Now living life with questions as it goes
What happens if loves presence comes true?
But contradiction occurs and then love leaves you
What then of the way you think
After love leaves in one simple blink
What then if you lost everything you knew
What then of your, contradicting views..
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